Love, Actually

“The important thing is not to think much, but to love much. And so, do that which best stirs you to love.” —Saint Teresa of Avila

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It’s hard to believe that this month marks the second anniversary of Be That As It May: Adventures in Loving Well. Thank you to all who read, commented on, or shared my thoughts with others! It means the world to me, and I am deeply grateful for your interest and support.

In 2023 I published four posts; five in 2024. My 2025 goal is six posts. I am an incrementalist by nature, so this gradual approach works well. It also helps me balance my writing life with all the other parts, including a new endeavor to revisit and expand my high school Spanish. (Fun fact: one of Hillary Clinton’s best friends, the late Betsy Ebeling, was my high school Spanish teacher.)

Two experiences last year spurred my renewed interest in speaking Spanish. The first was volunteering at a local food pantry with two of my grandchildren, ages 11 and 13 at the time (the nine-year-old joined us once as well). The kids worked hard, often surprising the adults around them, first with their willingness to do whatever was needed without complaint, and second with an excellent suggestion or two about doing a few things more efficiently. The intergenerational aspect of this effort made loving others well through the work of the food pantry especially meaningful.

Alas, while my grandson has been studying Spanish for a while, neither of us could speak it fluently enough to interact fully with many who came for food. Fortunately, there was plenty of other work to be done—unloading trucks filled with fruit, vegetables, eggs, canned goods, pasta, bread, cereal, and more. Then sorting, shelving, or stacking it all as directed. It was a good reminder to me and the kids that hundreds of people in our area depend on the generosity of others to feed themselves and their families in any given week.

The second inspiration to update and grow my Spanish skills was a book entitled Start with Welcome by Bri Stensrud, director of a non-partisan immigrant advocacy and education project called Women of Welcome . Stensrud’s approach to immigration is compassionate, comprehensive, and for those who are interested, biblical. She is not naïve about the realities of drugs, crime, human trafficking, and other controversial issues. Indeed, she devotes considerable time to all that and more in the book. Neither is the author promoting “open borders” or dismissive of the Rule of Law, as some of her critics falsely claim. She is, however, unapologetic in her reminder to Christians that “Jesus welcomed people from sketchy and unsafe places where neat and tidy answers didn’t apply, and seeing people, loving them well, was the priority.”  

I hope to get more involved with the work of Women of Welcome, much of which is at the U.S. southern border. As such, a more confident command of the Spanish language, while not required, may be useful.

Other ways of loving well also inspired me last year. These include acts such as leaving the quarter in the shopping cart at Aldi’s after returning the cart to the corral. Or parking farther away in the lot to leave a space for someone who needs it more. A man from my town recently used his drone’s thermal imaging feature to track down Charlie, a neighbor’s Bernese Mountain dog who went missing. Charlie had been hit by a car and found in a nearby field with a broken leg. The community raised more than $7,000 to cover the veterinary bill for Charlie’s surgery, and he’s now on his way to a full recovery.

Serving as an election judge is another great example of loving well. My friend Linda, a retired federal election judge, told me about a county election judge training program for qualified high school students in and around Chicago. Depending on the intensity of the local or federal politics in any given year, election judges can be at risk of verbal or even physical aggression. I greatly respect the courage and commitment of Linda, the students, and all who help ensure free and fair elections, which are a core component of the democratic process in the U.S.

Be that as it may, my favorite act of loving well in 2024 came from Meghan, a family member who has taught music to elementary school students for more than 20 years. Like teachers nationwide, Meg noticed a dispiriting shift in support by administrators, parents, and in some parts of the U.S., the public at large. Combined with increasingly rude, aggressive, and undisciplined students, she sadly began thinking about retirement. When I asked Meg if she would discourage her young daughters from pursuing a teaching career, should they one day express such an interest, she replied, “Definitely.”

But Meg didn’t retire. Instead, she accepted a new music teacher position in a different district. Immediately, she encountered something she hadn’t before—special need students.

Meg felt overwhelmed at first. The students were unpredictable, easily distracted, and sometimes agitated. She described the early weeks in these classes as “chaotic” and seriously wondered if she was up to the task at hand. Digging deep, however, she leaned heavily into her experience as a music teacher and mother, as well as someone who doesn’t give up easily.

Soon Meg discovered that certain rhythms, beats, and tempos, combined with a high level of repetition, held the children’s attention for longer periods of time. With no prior training in teaching music to children with physical disabilities, behavioral challenges, neurodiversity, or sensory impairments, Meg began to see first-hand what professional musician and music educator Dan Costello sees every day. “Music,” Dan said, “can help support child development, encourage sensory exploration, and build emotional regulation in all children, but the benefits of music are especially meaningful for children with special needs.”  

Meg’s special-need classes are now her favorite part of the week. School administrators, impressed with what they saw happening in Meg’s classroom, quickly approved her request for additional training to help build on all she already had accomplished in such a short period of time. She’s excited about this new opportunity, and eager to learn more ways to connect with this special group of students. More importantly, Meg’s excited about teaching again, which benefits everyone around her.

So, Happy Anniversary—to me, my blog, and everyone who reads it. As Prime Minister David (played by one of my favorite actors, Hugh Grant) said in the movie Love, Actually:

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the Arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but…it seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there…If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

Questions:

1.      What has loving well looked like for you in recent months?

2.      Has loving well ever felt risky in some way?

3.      How might circumstances influence our ability to love well?