Quirk

“Do not free a camel of the burden of his hump; you may be freeing him from being a camel.” –G.K. Chesterton

Recently, I came across an old issue of The Oprah Magazine about owning our “quirks.” Essay titles included “Guess What? Everybody’s a Little Odd,” “The Power of Quirk,” and “Awe of Flaws.” There was even a “Quirkbook” to help recognize and embrace the “quintessentially quirky, fabulously fascinating, outstanding original, sensationally singular, utterly unique qualities that make you who you are.”

I chuckled my way through the assortment of essays collectively entitled “In Praise of You.” When I finished reading, I couldn’t decide which quirky stories were the most hilarious. Was it the almost 40-year-old woman who still carried around a security blanket named “Scrap”? Or the Nintendo video race car addict whose favorite game character made a “brip-brap” sound she heard everywhere, especially in the bark of sea otters for which she had an “inexplicable kinship” that caused her to break into “wracking sobs” every time she heard it?

Other “quirks” mentioned in the essays included the physical—moles, freckles, scars, and more, as well as compulsions or superstitions. Knocking on a door a certain number of times, for example. Or refusing to step on a sidewalk crack or carrying a lucky charm. Together, they reminded me that loving well means loving our own and each other’s peculiar habits and eccentricities too. Our quirks can be celebrated and enjoyed as one of many things that makes us interesting and original. 

For example, one friend regularly measures the distance on each side of the family dining table to ensure an equal number of inches from each wall. Another wraps (and wraps and wraps) leftover meals in Saran Wrap to create an impenetrable “second skin” to maintain freshness for as long as possible. Given the environmental concerns, I offered to buy him some even more impenetrable glass containers with well-fitting lids. He thanked me for the offer, but politely declined.

After finishing the essays, I naturally felt led to reflect on my personal peculiarities. These turned out to be more numerous than I first realized. For example, I never left my kids’ new dorm rooms or apartments without making their beds, often after buying new sheets, blankets, or pillows. It made me feel better about leaving them to face the challenges of a new year at college or a new job. A comfortable, cozy bed was my way of saying “With a good night’s sleep you can handle whatever comes your way!” I also secretly hoped they would see it and think, “Wow—look how nice my room looks with the bed made up like that. Maybe I will try to make it every day.” Be that as it may, I’m pretty sure this never happened.

Here are some of my other quirks. I can only imagine what friends and family might add to the list:

1.     I catch bumble bees inside the house and let them go outside. I am getting better about doing this with spiders, too. I use a large, plastic bowl or glass jar and a strong piece of cardboard so neither of us gets hurt. I hide this equipment in a closet and if anyone asked me, I would probably lie about what it is for. However, I am not yet compelled to offer the same care and concern to house flies; they get whacked without a second thought and flung carelessly into the garbage. Mosquitoes, too—if they land on me or someone near me, they die.

2.     I love helping get projects off to a good start. Mary Poppins’ “Well begun is half done” should be engraved on my tombstone. Because once things are up and running smoothly, I start looking around for the right person to take it from there.

3.     I call myself a “middle monger.” I am a middle-class person who lives in the Midwest. I am politically Independent. I live on the line between introvert and extrovert. I love the Buddhist concept of The Middle Way. I’m not fat or thin, good or bad, attractive or unattractive. I once even worked in Middleton, Wisconsin! But no, I’m not a middle child—I’m the oldest of four.

4.     I am prevention-oriented and could have had a successful career with OSHA, the government agency that helps businesses reduce the number of workplace injuries, illness, and death. Indeed, next to “Well begun is half done” my tombstone should include “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” This quirkiness, comes in many forms. I will, for example, ask way too many times if you are keeping your live Christmas tree well-watered. I may have secretly disposed of the frayed cord on the cell phone charger you have spent the last 20 minutes trying to find.

5.     I reuse tea bags, tin foil, and dryer sheets whenever possible. I am told some find this quirky.

“We’re all a little weird and life’s a little weird,” said Dr. Suess. “When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible to ours, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.” I like that. And remember when Mr. Rogers told us that he liked us just the way we are? Both men were quirky in their own way, and that quirkiness was one of their greatest strengths. So, friend, you do you. And I’ll do me, too. It’s a fun, easy way to love ourselves and each other well every day.

Questions:

1.     Do you have any quirks?

2.     Where do quirks come from? Are they inherited or learned behaviors?

3.     Who is the quirkiest person you know? How does their quirk (or quirks) make them more interesting?